Repairing Relationships

Part 6 of The Path for Healing and Redemption

The BIG Idea:

The 6^th step on a path for healing and redemption is for us to evaluate all our relationships, offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us, and make amends for harm we ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others. This is necessary because God has forgiven us, resentment does not work, and because we will need forgiveness in the future. When we make the choice to forgive, the peace of God will replace our hurt.

The First Step to R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y: (The REALITY Step)

REALIZE I am not God. I admit I am powerless to control my tendencies to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable. Our sin nature is the cause of our challenge(s).

The Second Step to R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y: (The HOPE Step)

EARNESTLY believe that God exists, that you matter to God, and that God has the power to help you recover. It is important for us to acknowledge God exists, to understand the true character of God, and to accept God s offer to help me. We must plug into the power of God. We must believe and receive.

The Third Step to R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y: (The COMMITMENT Step)

CONSCIOUSLY choose to commit all my life and will to the care and control of Christ.

The Fourth Step to R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y: (The HOUSECLEANING Step)

OPENLY examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. The forgiveness of God makes us spotless through the blood of Christ Jesus.

The Fifth Step to R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y: (The TRANSFORMATION Step)

Voluntarily submit to every point of transformation God wants to make in my life and humbly ask God to remove my character flaws and challenges.

The Sixth Step to R-E-C-O-V-E-R-Y: (The RELATIONAL REPAIR Step)

Evaluate all my relationships by offering forgiveness to those who ve hurt me and make amends for harm I ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others.

³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. ³² Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. Ephesians 4:31-32 (GNT)

It is vital for me in my path to healing and redemption to forgive those who ve hurt me.

Why do I need to forgive those who have hurt me?

1.      Because God has forgiven me.

Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. Colossians 3:13 (GNT)

2.      Because resentment does not work.

To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do. Job 5:2 (GNT)

You are only hurting yourself with your anger. Will the earth be deserted because you are angry? Will God move mountains to satisfy you? Job 18:4 (GNB)

Some people stay healthy till the day they die; they die happy and at ease, their bodies well-nourished. Others have no happiness at all; they live and died with bitter hearts. Job 21:23-25 (GNB)

3.      Because I will need forgiveness in the future.

And when you stand and pray, forgive anything you may have against anyone, so that your Father in heaven will forgive the wrongs you have done. Mark 11:25 (GNB)

How do I forgive those who have hurt me?

1.      Reveal my hurt.

2.      Release my offender.

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times? ²²  No, not seven times, answered Jesus, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 (GNT)

3.      Replace my hurt with the peace of God.

The peace that Christ gives is to guide you in the decisions you make; for it is to this peace that God has called you together in the one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 (GNT)

After I have chosen to forgive, I must then choose to make amends to those I have hurt.

Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives. Hebrews 12:15 (GNT)

Unresolved relationships are the root of so many challenges we face, and they prevent recovery, healing, and redemption from taking place.

1.      Make a list of those I ve harmed and what I did to them.

2.      Consider how I d like others to make amends to me and then do that for others.

Do for others just what you want them to do for you. Luke 6:31 (GNT)

-         Choose the right time to make amends.

There is a right time and a right way to do everything, but we know so little. Ecclesiastes 8:6 (GNT)

-         Make amends with the right attitude.

Instead, but speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the Head. Ephesians 4:15 (GNT)

-         Is it appropriate to do so?

Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal. Proverbs 12:18 (GNB)

Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody. Romans 12:18 (GNB)

3.      Refocus my life.

Put your heart right, Job. Reach out to God. Put away evil and wrong from your home. Then face the world again, firm and courageous. Then all your troubles will fade from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more. Job 11:13-16 (GNB)

It is important for me to realize the need to put my heart right by releasing and forgiving, by reaching out to God, and then facing the world again with the power of Christ.

Questions for Reflection:

Why is the 6^th step of the path to healing and redemption often referred to as the Relational Repair Step?

Why do I need to forgive those who have hurt me?

How do I forgive those who have hurt me?

Why is it important to make amends with those I have hurt?

How do I refocus my life through the power of Christ?